Internet Safety - Conversations with Parents

When you sign up to be a librarian, it's almost like signing the Hippocratic Oath of Information. Most of us believe fairly strongly in the Library Bill of Rights and in free access to information. So I was a bit worked up after attending a recent PTA meeting about the perils of the Internet. As a first-year librarian without any social capital, I really needed to gain the parents' trust and was in no position to disagree with a police officer, so I found myself stuck in a corner, biting my tongue.

Our PTA invited the local police officer to speak about Internet safety at tonight's meeting. Don't get me wrong, it was a very necessary conversation to have, but I wish it hadn't been so one-sided. The officer thoroughly covered the dangers children face when using the Internet -- knowingly or unknowingly divulging personal information to strangers, navigating to inappropriate sites, etc. But the answer proposed was secretly installing tracking software that allows you to view everything your child (and babysitter) posts. To each his own, but I find that terribly offensive and would use such a method only as a last resort. I understand that Officer Fuller is a police officer first and an educator second. As a result, she stresses prevention at any cost and sees the issues from that particular lens. But with something as important and ever-changing as the Internet, there will never be a quick fix. To suggest that parents can pass off all personal responsibility onto a software package is awfully short-sighted, considering the stakes. In addition, parents risk losing their children's trust as well as the important dialog that takes place when parents and children learn and develop Internet safety strategies together.

During this meeting, there was no real conversation about how to talk to your child about Internet safety, what to do to truly educate yourself, or how to positively learn and navigate your way through the Internet with your child. It was a lot to handle in one session to begin with, so maybe that's Part 2. I sure hope so. Because the conversation should never be about preventing your child from learning and exploring. The conversation needs to be about learning and exploring with your child in a meaningful, positive environment.

In addition, I learned that Internet safety education is conducted at the same time as drug and alcohol education for our 5th grade students. I'm not crazy about the message that the Internet is in the same hateful category as booze and cigarettes. The Web is their world. By the time they graduate high school, it will literally be everywhere. We are putting them at a severe disadvantage by equipping them only with the skills they will need to navigate the world we know, and ignoring what they will need for that world.

The whole meeting got me truly thinking about where a parent's responsibility lies. It is common for adults to talk about the ways their children misuse the Internet as if they themselves know better. But do they? Are they taking the steps to educate themselves as fully as they would like their children to be educated? Do they regularly conduct Internet searches on both themselves and their children? Do they experiment with Facebook, MySpace, and Webkinz themselves when their children ask to set up accounts? Have they attempted to get involved in a positive and appropriate social network to model for their children? And it goes even further: as an educator, I do what I can to teach students these vital 21st century skills. But have I been neglecting half of my duty by not also educating their parents?

The bottom line is this: you can't expect your kid to be more responsible about the Internet than you are yourself. Yes, you are a digital immigrant and that is a difficult position to be in. I get it. But it is your responsibility as a parent to at least TRY to speak the same language as your child. And I am here to help.

Now that I've gotten past being appalled, I would be remiss to rant without giving my own positive suggestions, so...coming soon: effective strategies parents can use to practice and preach Internet safety in their homes.